Many people have recently approached me in order to know how I amassed my great fortune. This fortune which made it possible for me to reject such things as a decent job or criminality as means of supporting my expesive lifestyle.

The answer is a simple as it is genius. I my youth I went to search for gold. While I appreciate that searching for gold can be both hard and tedious at times, it is well worth it. Because once you have found it, everything becomes so much easier. Before I found my gold for example, only my broker and my mother would call me. Nowadays though, I put Snoop Dog on hold while I chatter away with celebrities such as Thomas Brolin, Claes Elfsberg and Dr. Alban (the artist).

How then, people often ask me, did you find all your gold?

Well, it takes hard work and much looking. Firstly, gold is mostly found at night and in dark corners of, for exanple, far away forests or cast away islands. Secondly, when you have found a good spot spot. For example a large, looming and possibly wolf-infested, Scandinavian forest, you must get yourself a spade. Go out at night, find your previously checked spot (sometimes, although not always, spots where gold is found is marked by an 'x' or a cross. My experience tells me that this might vary, in Scandinavia, places that hides gold might often be marked by a few rocks in a malevolent pattern or by a skull on a stake. In the Caribbean, gold-spots are almost always marked by a wooden cross whereas in Romania, a cave with a carved 'x' is most common). Maps from before 1920 almost always comtains an 'x' reference to hidden gold somewhere on the map. In a map over the Caribbean from 1750 for example, you will no doubt find more than three references to gold. Once you found your spot, start digging, it will take time and effort. When you reach about two metres down, your spirit will be cast down and you will have lost hope. This you must not care for, just continue digging.

You might need to retire home to your quarters when morrow comes, strengthen yourself with rum or vodka before returning the next day. When you have returned, continue digging. After a while, when you've passed the three metre-mark, you should be finished:
There lies the gold.